Why I Dug Into Golden Gate’s Rugby Methods
Always got my ass kicked in local pickup rugby games. Felt slow, made bad passes, kept getting bulldozed. Buddy told me SF Golden Gate Rugby players train different – said they got secret sauce from the coaches. So last Thursday I hauled myself down to their practice field at 6am to spy.
Their Brutal Warm-up Ritual
Saw them start without touching a single rugby ball first. Whole team sprinted backwards while holding medicine balls overhead. Coach Pat blew his whistle every 30 seconds making players drop face-first into muddy grass then pop up like jack-in-the-boxes. Couldn’t believe my eyes.
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Key things I stole:
- Started doing backwards runs holding grocery bags full of canned soup
- Added grass dives to my morning routine – my neighbor thinks I’m nuts
- Never skip leg day now – these dudes had tree trunks for thighs
How They Learn Tackling
Didn’t use those giant foam pads at all. Two players held each other’s shoulders while shuffling sideways, like some weird rugby tango. Then BAM – one would suddenly drop low and drive through. Looked awkward as hell but worked like magic. Coach Dave yelled “Chin up! Spines straight!” every time.
I tried this with my nephew later. Got me smacked in the face first time – forgot the chin up part. Bruised my lip real good but finally nailed it on the 15th try.
Scrum Practice Madness
Thought they’d start light. Nope. Entire first team bashed heads full force immediately. Sounded like garbage trucks colliding. They kept resetting whenever one guy lost footing. Saw this linebacker-sized player get flipped clean over – didn’t even faze him. Just got up spitting dirt.
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Copied these tricks:
- Started shoving against my parked Honda Civic (don’t tell my mechanic)
- Wore construction knee pads during practice
- Learned to breathe through my ears somehow during pushes
My Disaster & Breakthrough
Thought I’d test everything last Saturday. Ran drills until I puked behind the bleachers. Woke up Sunday feeling like I got hit by actual truck. But man, played pickup yesterday and didn’t get pancaked once. Made three clean tackles and my passes actually reached teammates. Felt like I cheated the system.
Turns out their secrets ain’t complicated: Do the annoying basics harder than anyone else. Even if you look stupid wrestling your cousin or shoving your car. Still can’t scrums worth a damn though. My Civic’s bumper’s fucked.
