Why Those Ex-Lakers Stories Are More Complicated Than You Think
So last week I decided to dig into ex-Lakers players’ paths after leaving LA. Everyone talks bout championships and Kobe-Shaq drama, right? But I wanted the messy real stuff – not just ESPN highlights. Started simple by googling “where are ex Lakers now”.
First surprise hit me hard: there ain’t no clean list anywhere. Like at all. NBA site shows current rosters, Wikipedia has scattered info, forums talk mostly bout stars. Had to hunt player by player like some detective. Made spreadsheet starting with 2010s roster – ended up with 87 names before lunch. My coffee went cold three times.
Then came the wild part: half these guys disappeared off earth. Not literally but close. Started calling agents’ offices pretending to be scout. Got hung up on twice, once got transferred to voicemail box that sounded like chewing tobacco commercial. Found one dude running smoothie franchise in Ohio through Instagram geo-tags. Another coaching junior high team in Serbia after googling his name in Cyrillic.
- Woke up at 3am remembering Kwame Brown’s fishing YouTube channel
- Spent whole Tuesday verifying if Smush Parker really owns that car wash
- Drove to Inglewood asking barbershop old-timers about 90s role players
Real shocker? How many got normal jobs after basketball. Met grocery store manager who played 12 games in ’08 – recognized him by his Lakers tattoo under apron. Showed him my spreadsheet, dude laughed till he cried. Said “man I sell avocados now, that life feels like someone else’s dream”.
Yesterday tried making neat career map for all 87. Total disaster. Colors bled everywhere, arrows crossed like spaghetti. Realized: that’s the whole point. These exits ain’t fairy tales – they’re messy human pivot stories. Some crash spectacular, most just fade quiet into real lives. Still got sticky notes all over my monitor from this madness. Maybe tomorrow I’ll chase down that rumor about Sasha Vujačić’s Slovenian winery.
