My Attempt to Figure Out Joe Cushman’s Training Prices
Okay so I’ve been wanting to join Joe Cushman’s sports training for months, but man their pricing? Total mystery box situation. Last Tuesday I finally said screw it, let’s just call them directly. Grabbed my phone, dialed the number from their Google listing – sat through that awful hold music for like 10 minutes.
The Phone Call Surprise
When this guy finally picks up, I straight up asked “yo what’s the damage for your basic training package?” Dude starts listing numbers faster than I can write:
- Group sessions: $80 per session if you pay single, drops to $65 if you buy 10-pack
- Private coaching: Oof – $120 hourly but they do 3-session bundles for $300
- Weird extra: Something called “movement analysis” they shove in first session? +$50
My hand was cramping trying to scribble this mess down. Then I asked the golden question – “any discounts though?”
Discount Detective Work
So the guy goes “yeah actually…” and starts dumping more info:
- Student discount: 15% off if you show college ID (kinda salty this doesn’t work for my community college night classes)
- Referral thing: Bring a friend who signs up – both get 20% off next month
- Annoying catch: All discounts ONLY apply to group packages, not private sessions
I made him repeat the referral rules twice – sounded too good to be true. Also found out they run these random “flash promos” on Instagram but you gotta monitor their stories daily. Who’s got time for that?
Final Game Plan
Walked out of that call with headache. Here’s what I’m actually gonna do:
- Gonna nag my gym buddy Chris to split a 10-pack group sessions = brings it down to $52 per session
- Skipping the stupid movement analysis – told them I’ve got “existing evaluation paperwork” from my doc
- Stalking their Instagram every damn morning with coffee hoping for a flash sale
Still feel kinda ripped off though. For $65 per group session I better be getting Usain Bolt level coaching. First session next Tuesday – if they try charging extra for sweat towels or something I’m walking out.
