So last Tuesday, my neighbor Sarah got ghosted by her long-time boyfriend. Dude vanished overnight – left her scrambling to handle their shared apartment lease, joint bank accounts, even his stupid cactus collection. Total chaos. Got me thinking hard about how unprepared I’d be if my partner just…poofed. Decided right then to get my own house in order.
Digging Through Our Junk Drawers First
I started by tearing apart our filing cabinet. Pulled every single important paper I could find – mortgage documents, car titles, insurance policies. Sweat pouring down my face when I realized our life insurance papers were buried under 3 years of pizza coupons. Made two stacks: HERS and MINE. Photocopied everything then stuffed the copies into separate fireproof boxes.
The Awkward Money Talk
Sat my partner down that evening with cheap wine. Told straight up: “Look, I need to know where all our cash lives if you vanish tomorrow.” He laughed at first but got serious real quick when I showed him Sarah’s texts. We made:
- A list of every bank account with login details
- PIN codes for our separate credit cards
- Hidden emergency cash spots in both our closets
Password Pandemonium
Spent Saturday screaming at my laptop trying to remember all our shared logins. Netflix was easy but almost cried when I couldn’t recall our joint Amazon password. Finally made a master list including:
- Utility accounts (electric/water)
- Phone plan portal
- Cloud storage for family photos
Taped one copy inside my toolbox and gave him one to hide in his guitar case.
The “Oh Crap” Contacts List
Went through both our phones Sunday morning. Made a dead-simple document with:
- Lawyer’s number (who did our wills)
- Landlord’s emergency contact
- My plumber brother’s cell
- Vet’s direct line for our demon cat
Printed four copies – one for each car glovebox, one in the freezer (don’t judge), one taped inside his briefcase.
Dry Run Disaster Test
Pretended he disappeared Monday. Tried paying mortgage with his account – failed twice before remembering the stupid security questions. Couldn’t find the damn circuit breaker when basement lights died. Spent 20 minutes searching for pet sitter contacts. Fixed it all by:
- Practicing bill payments from both accounts
- Labeling all home utilities with bright tape
- Adding vet/sitter contacts to the “Oh Crap” list
My hand still hurts from all that handwriting but damn, I sleep better now.
