You know how people make gardening sound so complicated? Like you need some magic green thumb? I got tired of that noise. Saw this Joy Hickey fella talking simple beginner methods and figured, why not actually TRY his tips instead of just reading? Let me walk you through my mess.
Step 1: Ignoring Fancy Gear
First thing Joy said was ditch the expensive stuff. Like those “self-watering” pots. Useless. I grabbed three buckets from the garage. Like, actual grimy buckets that held screws last week. Gave ’em a quick hose-off. Dug up some old potting mix from a torn bag behind the shed. Already felt cheaper and easier.
Step 2: The Seeds & The Soak
Used parsley seeds. Why? ‘Cause the packet was dusty and laying around. Joy said soaking helps germination. Seemed simple. Tossed those seeds in a glass of lukewarm water. Left ’em overnight near the toaster. Forgot about ’em till breakfast.
- Bucket 1: Just dumped the soaked seeds straight into the damp dirt. Poked little holes with my finger.
- Bucket 2: Did the same, but covered the top with a ripped piece of that thin plastic bag groceries come in. Taped it down crudely.
- Bucket 3: Got a little wild. Sprinkled some used coffee grounds from breakfast on top of the dirt before putting seeds in. Figured it might do something?
Stuck all three buckets on a windowsill above the radiator. It’s kinda warm there. Kinda dirty too. Didn’t care.
Step 3: The Boring Waiting Part
This part stinks. You water a bit when the dirt feels dry. Bucket 2 with the plastic bag got really sweaty inside. Looked gross, like green vomit dripping. Bucket 3 smelled faintly of old coffee. Nothing happened for days. I almost knocked Bucket 1 over watering it. Classic.
Step 4: Surprise Sprouts!
After about 10 days of basically ignoring them, peeked at Bucket 2 (the sweaty bag one). Little green dots poking up! Actually looked alive. Ripped the plastic off carefully. Felt a small victory.
Buckets 1 and 3? Dead dirt. Nada. Thought Joy was messing with me. But then, weirdly, Bucket 3 (coffee one) showed one little sprout a couple days later, looking all skinny and weak. Bucket 1 stayed bare like a desert.
Step 5: What Actually Grew (And What Didn’t)
Bucket 2 became the winner. Most sprouts survived. Grew kinda slow, but they greened up. Bucket 3 just had that one survivor. Bucket 1? Total graveyard. Threw it out last Tuesday.
The Pointless Coffee Grounds? Maybe it helped Bucket 3 a tiny bit? Or maybe it was just luck. Can’t prove it either way. Annoying. The plastic bag trick though? That worked shockingly well. Stupidly simple. Kept things damp without me drowning the seeds daily.
So yeah, Joy’s onto something. Forget perfect pots and perfect seeds. Get a bucket. Use a bag. Keep it damp. See what happens. Probably won’t win awards, but hey, I got actual parsley growing right now. Feels real.
