Okay so last month I got freaking played by this new guy at work. Super charming, always knew the right thing to say. Felt like he could sell ice to an Eskimo, ya know? Then stuff started getting… weird. Like, he’d borrow money for a “family emergency,” but later I saw him flashing cash at the bar. Left me wondering, man, what the heck? Decided to dig into psychopath signs for real. Needed to figure this out.
The Hunt Begins
First step? I dove headfirst online. Blogs, forums, even skimmed some stuff way too academic for me. Wasn’t looking for a PhD, just clear signs real people might see. Filtered out all the complicated jargon, focused on stuff anyone could spot. Started making my own damn list based on what felt legit from my experience.
Tallying Up the Red Flags
Here’s what stuck out big time for me, kinda boiled down to the top warnings I wish I knew:
- That Charm Offensive: Like I said, smoother than butter. Feels amazing at first, almost too perfect? Makes you drop your guard real fast.
- Constant Sob Stories: Always a crisis! Needed cash, car trouble, sick pet, family drama… always an excuse, often tugs at your heartstrings. But details? They shift.
- Zero Guilt, Not Remorse: Caught him lying about where the borrowed money went? Shrugged it off like “No big deal.” No “sorry,” no shame. Just kinda annoyed he got caught.
- Playing the Victim Card: Any pushback? Suddenly you’re the bad guy. “You don’t trust me?” “After everything I did for you?” Flip it right around.
- Everyone’s Against Them (Supposedly): Started noticing he talked crap about EVERYONE. Old friends were “backstabbers,” exes were “crazy,” coworkers were “jealous.” Seemed like nobody was good enough.
- Impulsivity & Messy Life: Wild stories, sudden job changes, blown money on dumb stuff. Life felt chaotic, like a rollercoaster held together with duct tape.
- Shallow Emotions: This one creeped me out. Talking about something seriously messed up? His eyes were… empty. Like a mask, nothing behind it. Freaking eerie.
Spent weeks observing, scribbling notes like a weirdo detective, seeing how many boxes he ticked. Felt kinda grim keeping score, but it was eye-opening.
Putting It Together & My Big Mistake
Saw him hit like 5 out of 7 clear as day. The charm, the lies, the lack of guilt, the constant victim act, the shallow eyes. That confirmed it for me. Didn’t confront him – figured that’d be pointless, maybe messy.
My mistake? I whispered a quick heads-up to a buddy who seemed kinda close to the guy. Just a quiet “Hey, watch yourself around New Guy.” Guess who got thrown under the bus immediately? Yep. Me. Next day, he’s loudly talking about “toxic gossip” and “jealous colleagues,” looking right at me. Pure smear campaign. Lesson learned: keep your mouth shut and your distance.
Cut him off cold turkey. Don’t lend, don’t share info, just short polite replies if needed. The crazy part? He barely noticed. Just glided onto the next person who looked vaguely useful. No big emotional scene, nothing. Poof. Really drove the point home – I was just supply, not a person. Learned my lesson the hard way.
