So last week I stumbled on this Leobaldo Cabrera guy talking diets and thought, “what the hell, maybe it’s time to sort my eating out.” My pants felt tighter than my old phone charger anyway. Grabbed a notebook and decided to test-drive his “Top 3 Tips” just like a regular dude.
Tip #1: Ditch All Sugary Drinks Right Now
First thing Monday morning, I opened the fridge. Saw my beloved soda cans staring back. Felt like breaking up with a toxic ex. Poured every single one down the sink. Switched to plain water, black coffee, unsweetened tea. Tasted like punishment water for the first two days. My head throbbed like after bad karaoke. By Wednesday? Weirdly, plain water didn’t taste like nothing anymore. Felt kinda… clean? Actually stuck with this one.
Tip #2: Make Half Your Plate Just Veggies
Wednesday night, making chicken and rice. Paused before cooking. Dug around the crisper drawer like I was searching for buried treasure. Found limp carrots, half a bell pepper, and some frozen peas. Threw it all in the pan first. Seriously, filled half the plate. Looked weirdly colorful. Chicken portion looked tiny! Took extra time chewing all that rabbit food. Not gonna lie, missed the huge pile of rice. But felt stupidly full afterwards without wanting a nap. Kept doing it, even threw spinach in my morning eggs like a madman.
Tip #3: His “Magical” Kale & Avocado Breakfast Smoothie
Friday was the big test. Bought kale for the first time. Felt like overpaying for decoration. Whacked an avocado, handful of kale, some milk, and a banana into the blender. Sounded like rocks bouncing around. Poured this thick, swamp-green goo into a glass. Took a brave sip. I almost puked. Tasted like blended grass clippings with bitter undertones. Absolutely vile texture, like drinking slime. Choked down half. Felt nauseous. Looked at the recipe again – “delicious and energizing!” My ass, Leobaldo. Dumped the rest straight down the drain. NOT doing that again.
Where I Landed
One week later:
- Still dumping soda: Water’s boring, but it works.
- Still packing veggies: Annoying but makes meals huge and feels lighter.
- Ditched the green sludge: Eating actual food instead.
Lost maybe a pound? Not magic. But definitely feel less sluggish. Cabrera guy’s got some points, but that smoothie was war crime disguised as breakfast. Keeping the easy stuff, tossing the torture. Solid experiment, glad I tried it.
