So last night I was scrolling through Olympic stats when I realized – nobody’s talking about men’s decathlon contenders! Grabbed my laptop at 2AM thinking “alright, let’s predict this mess properly”.
First Step: Hunting Down Data
Opened four browser tabs straight away – checked World Athletics rankings first. Big mistake. Got distracted watching old championship highlights for half an hour before remembering what I came for. Eventually wrote down names like Warner, LePage, Moloney on a sticky note that’s now stuck to my coffee mug.
What I needed:
- Past three years’ personal bests
- Injury reports from sketchy sports blogs
- Random Twitter rumors about training camps
The Spreadsheet Struggle
Created this massive Excel sheet that crashed twice. Color-coded athletes by country until it looked like unicorn vomit. Forgot how to calculate decathlon points halfway through and had to Google that stupid formula: a(b-c)^p or whatever. Felt like doing actual math homework.
My cat jumped on the keyboard when I was entering Mayer’s shot put numbers. Had to redo three events’ worth of data. Classic.
The Controversial Calls
Damian Warner (Canada): Dude’s 34 but clutch in big moments. Saw his Instagram story doing hurdle drills in the snow last month – either hardcore or crazy. Giving him bronze.
Garrett Scantling (USA): Kept debating whether his pole vault disaster in Tokyo was a fluke. Finally decided nah, he’ll choke again. Crossed him off medal list.
Biggest argument with myself? Leo Neugebauer’s 9000+ point potential. He could either dominate or trip over the first hurdle. Woke up my wife gesturing wildly while debating his shot put technique at 3AM.
Final Picks & Reality Check
Posted these predictions after five coffee refills:
- 🥇 Pierce LePage (dude’s consistency is scary)
- 🥈 Kevin Mayer (if his hamstring holds up)
- 🥉 Damian Warner (old man strength counts)
Will this hold up? Probably not. Remembered halfway through that nobody cares about decathlon predictions anyway. But hey – sharing trash takes is 50% of being a sports blogger. Left the spreadsheet open in case anyone demands receipts.
