Getting Dragged to the Wall
So Sean Strickland’s weird climbing obsession kept popping up on my feed. Figured why not try whatever crap he’s doing? Walked into my local gym feeling like an idiot holding basic rental shoes. Saw those textured walls and thought “How hard can slapping rocks be?” Spoiler: Real damn hard.
The Actual Struggle
First five minutes felt like cheating death. My palms were sweaty before even touching the wall. Started on some baby route marked green – easy right? Nope. Got two moves up and my foot slipped like it was greased. Whole body jerked, shoulder popping. Grabbed some neon plastic chunk like my life depended on it. Forearms started screaming like they owed me money. Remembered Strickland talking about “sht grip endurance” – suddenly made sense. Had to jump off panting like I ran a marathon after literally two meters.
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Stuff that saved me:
- Chalk bucket – dumped half of it on my hands immediately
- Those tight-a shoes – toes felt numb in 30 seconds
- Yelling “Relax!” at myself like a lunatic (didn’t work)
Tried mimicking Strickland’s “lean back” thing from videos. Leaned too far – peeled right off the wall like rotten wallpaper. Fell onto the mat laughing at myself. Guy at the next route just shook his head. Started watching how people actually moved: hips glued to the wall, slow deliberate steps, not pulling with arms like I was doing. Felt stupid for trying to muscle through.
Lightbulb Moments
After eating humble pie for 40 minutes, tried focusing on legs like Strickland rants about. Pushed through my feet instead of pulling with spaghetti arms. Holy sht – actually stuck a move. Did a sequence without gasping! Realized three things:
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Strickland’s dirty secrets:
- Feet ain’t decoration – stomp on holds like you hate them
- Straight arms = less crying later
- Breathe out loud like Darth Vader – weirdly helps
Totally misread this big purple hold thinking it was jug. Turned out slopey as hell – fingers slid right off. Strickland’s “read first, cry later” advice slapped me hard. Finally hit the top of a yellow route feeling like I summited Everest. Arms felt like overcooked noodles but damn.
Leaving Sweat Stains & Ego
Two hours later crawled out of there. Every muscle whining. Left permanent chalk handprints on my water bottle. Real talk: Strickland’s methods aren’t magic. It’s about not being an impatient moron like I was. Use legs. Read holds. Breathe. Still suck at climbing. But less than before. Go do what I do: get humbled, learn basics, stop trying to yank the wall down.
