My First Baby Steps into Fitness Chaos
Look, I ain’t no gym bro. My idea of heavy lifting was carrying groceries up three flights when the damn elevator broke. But I kept seeing these Tomova Viktoriya clips online – super strong, moves smooth like butter, makes it look easy. Figured, hell, even I could maybe try? Except all those training vids jumped straight into fancy jumps and heavy kettlebells. Zero help for someone like me who trips over air.
So here’s my god damn complicated journey trying to not break myself following her kind of training:
- Step One: Admitting I Sucked. Seriously. I walked into my dinky apartment “gym” corner – basically just a yoga mat – tried to copy one of her beginner warm-ups. Spent five minutes just figuring out how to move my legs and arms together without looking like a drunk scarecrow. Felt ridiculous.
- Step Two: Gear Fiasco. Thought I needed cool stuff. Grabbed some ancient dumbbells gathering dust. Way too heavy. Dropped one on my foot. Hurt like hell. Borrowed some running shoes from my buddy. Bad idea. Felt like bricks. Learned quick: cheap sneakers and basic clothes work fine. No shiny gear required to start falling over.
- Step Three: Found a Sliver of Hope. Dug deeper through old forum rants. Found folks whispering about Viktoriya’s absolute beginner principles. Basics only:
- Stand still. Sounds dumb? Try standing tall, shoulders back, belly kinda tight. Felt weirdly hard to hold for more than a minute.
- The “Hinge” Thing. Bend forward without collapsing my whole spine? Practiced brushing my teeth like that. Almost poked my eye out.
- Tiny Knee Bends. Just dipping down a few inches, keeping heels glued. Legs shook like jelly after ten tries.
Like, embarrassingly simple stuff. But crucial.
- Step Four: The Painful (But Needed) Reality Check. After a week of just standing, bending, and tiny squats? Woke up sore. Muscles hurting I didn’t know existed. Back of my legs? On fire. Butt cheeks? Screaming. Guess those basic moves actually did something.
- Step Five: Building My Own Damn Skeleton. Once standing didn’t feel like climbing Everest, I built a tiny routine. Took maybe… 15 minutes max, every other day:
- 2 minutes standing tall.
- 20 knee bends (still tiny, still shaky).
- 15 “hinges” (trying to touch my toes without breaking).
- Some awkward arm circles.
That’s it. No weights. Just my clumsy body. Consistency sucked. Missed days. Felt lazy.
Where I’m At Now (Still Wobbly But Better)
Been grinding at this for about… six weeks? Hell, feels longer. But the magic happened slowly:
- Standing tall is now just… standing. Automatic.
- Knee bends go deeper. Legs don’t shake every time.
- Can finally hinge forward and touch below my knees without back pain! Big damn deal for me.
- Moved up to holding water bottles as weights. Feels fancy.
Real talk though:
- I still look nothing like Viktoriya, obviously.
- Complicated moves? Still look like a newborn giraffe on ice.
- Some days the motivation is buried under my couch cushions.
But: I started. From absolute zero. My back feels stronger. Posture’s way better. Found muscles I didn’t know I owned. And crucially? I didn’t hurt myself bad enough to quit. That’s the real beginner win right there. Forget the shiny results. Build the boring foundation first.
