So, they gave me this ‘Most Improved Award’ thing a while back. Honestly, it felt a bit weird at the time. Like, thanks, but does that mean I was really terrible before? Haha. It happened during our yearly team review thing, wasn’t expecting anything really.
Thinking back, it all started because I was genuinely awful at presenting stuff. Seriously, I’d get up there, my hands would shake, voice would crack, I’d forget everything I planned to say. Just a mess. It wasn’t even complicated stuff, just basic updates or project ideas. But put me in front of more than two people, and my brain just went poof.
The Struggle Was Real
It got kinda embarrassing, you know? People would look away, trying to be polite. My boss suggested some training, but those corporate things always felt stiff, not really my style. So, I decided to just kinda… figure it out myself. Wasn’t very scientific.
Here’s what I actually did, more or less:
- Tried writing detailed scripts. Failed. Sounded like a robot, and I’d lose my place anyway.
- Practiced in front of a mirror. Felt like an idiot, didn’t really help with the nerves.
- Watched a bunch of online talks. Some were useful, some were just slick guys in turtlenecks. Picked up a few small tips, like pausing more.
- The main thing? I just forced myself to do it more often. Volunteered for small updates in team meetings, even when I didn’t want to. Each time was still nerve-wracking, but maybe slightly less awful than the last.
There were days I just wanted to avoid it altogether. Call in sick on presentation day? Totally crossed my mind. It wasn’t a smooth curve upwards, more like two steps forward, one step back, stumble sideways. Sometimes a presentation would go okay-ish, the next one felt like a complete disaster again. Consistency was just not happening.
Then Came the Award
Fast forward to that yearly meeting. They’re going through the usual stuff, then my manager starts talking about recognizing progress. He mentioned someone who’d really stepped up in communication, tackling something they found difficult. Then he said my name and mentioned this ‘Most Improved’ plaque thing.
I remember just sitting there blinking for a second. Had to walk up, everyone clapping. It was nice, sure, but also slightly mortifying because it highlighted how bad I must have been initially. Took the plaque, mumbled thanks, and sat down quick.
Looking back, the award itself didn’t magically make me a great speaker. I still get nervous. But it was… okay, it was a decent nod. A recognition that the struggle was visible, and maybe the small, messy steps I took actually added up to something someone noticed. It didn’t fix the core problem overnight, but it kinda made me think, “Huh, maybe just grinding through something, even awkwardly, counts.” It wasn’t some grand strategy, just putting one foot in front of the other, tripping included.
