Alright, let’s talk about this Kevin Seinfeld thing. Or maybe it’s Jerry? Honestly, I get mixed up, but everyone knows who I mean, the guy talking about airplane peanuts and stuff.
So, I got this idea a while back. I watched some of his stand-up, read about how he just finds comedy in everyday life, in the mundane. Seemed simple enough, right? Just look around, notice weird things, talk about them. How hard could it be? I thought, maybe I could do that too. Spice up conversations, you know? Be the funny guy for once.
My Grand Plan
First thing I did, I went out and bought a small notebook. Like, a serious, pocket-sized one. Felt very official. My plan was to jot down observations during the day. I started looking at everything differently.
- Why do we push elevator buttons multiple times? Doesn’t make it come faster.
- What’s the deal with express checkout lanes? Always someone in there with a full cart, arguing about coupons.
- The little plastic thingy at the end of shoelaces? What’s its story?
I filled up pages with stuff like this. I’d sit at the bus stop, in the office break room, just watching and writing. Felt like a real detective of dumb everyday things.
The Reality Check
Then came the hard part: making it funny. I’d try out my “material” on my wife. “Honey, ever notice how windshield wipers never quite wipe the whole windshield? There’s always that one spot…” She’d just stare at me. Sometimes I’d get a polite smile. That’s the worst, the polite smile. Tried it on friends during poker night. Mostly silence, maybe someone changing the subject.
Turns out, just noticing something isn’t comedy. Seinfeld, he doesn’t just notice; he builds this whole ridiculous world around it. There’s timing, exaggeration, a way he puts it together. My observations were just… observations. Flat. Like pointing out that the sky is blue.
It’s not as easy as it looks. Not even close.
Reminds Me Of That Work Project…
This whole failed comedian experiment reminds me exactly of this project I was on at my old job. We were supposed to implement this fancy new automated inventory system. On paper, it was beautiful. Scan the barcode, database updates instantly, track everything perfectly. Simple!
We started work. Then the problems hit. The scanners didn’t like certain lighting. The Wi-Fi in the warehouse was spotty. The software had weird bugs nobody could figure out. What looked straightforward turned into a massive headache. Months went by. We spent ages trying to fix it, tweak it, make it work like the demo showed. In the end? We mostly went back to the old manual spreadsheets because the “simple” automated system was just too damn complicated and unreliable in practice.
It’s the same thing. Watching Seinfeld, you think, “I could do that, it’s just talking.” Trying to actually do it? You realize there’s a million little things, a whole craft behind it that you never saw. Same with that inventory system. Looked easy on the PowerPoint slide, but the real world is messy.
So yeah, my career as the next Kevin Seinfeld, or whatever his first name is, was pretty short-lived. Didn’t quit my day job. Now I just stick to noticing things quietly, without trying to make a bit out of it. Some things are just harder than they look, and you gotta respect the people who can actually pull it off.
